'THAT AWKARD MOMENT AT A GIG WHEN YOU...'
BY JAYNE SNOW (A.k.a 'Mary'- you'll understand why!)
Photo credit: Fred Clark
SUNDAY 25TH AUGUST 2019
LOCATION: MUSIC ON THE GREEN, BEARSTED // STAGE: ‘TIPI TENT’ // TEMPERATURE: 32 DEGREES
You know that epic moment when you’re onstage, performing in 32 degree heat, then spot one of your friends dancing in the middle of a Tipi tent and want to give them a hearty shout out?…No?! Well, before you go rushing to add it to your bucket list, hear me out! Things were going so well up until that point…
It was a glorious afternoon at Music On The Green, Bearsted. This annual festival had once again provided families and friends the perfect scenario to go outdoors and enjoy the British summertime weather whilst listening to live music.
The green was freckled by an ocean of picnics, blankets and parasols. The sound of live music sailed on the minimalistic breeze, fragranced by the smell of freshly cut grass, coconut suncream and savoury food. There was a general hum from people talking, laughing and making memories. The festival was in full flow and we were in the middle of a heatwave!
‘What’s the point of having the power of a microphone if you can’t use it for the greater good?!’
I was stoked to be on the line up and was due to perform in the acoustic Tipi tent at 3.30pm! Chevy, my partner, and I had come down early to meet up with her sister and family who were relishing the good weather whilst chilling behind their sun hats and shades.
After catching up and being half baked in the sun, we made our way over to the huge Tipi Tent at the far side of the green and greeted Fred who was running this years stage. It was such a relief being in the shade, though it was still roasting!
I plugged my guitar in, adjusted the height of the mic stand and started to soundcheck. Once Fred was happy with the levels he gave me a thumbs up and I started to perform! The crowd was electric, singing and dancing along! At one point the roar from the crowd gave me goosebumps and as i started to play the next song on my setlist I spotted one of my friends, who was helping to run the main stage, dancing in the middle of it all!
Photo credit: Fred Clark
I really wanted to give her a shout out, after all I thought it was a lovely gesture of her to drop in! Plus what’s the point of having the power of a microphone if you can’t use it for the greater good?!
On this occasion though, much to my agonising despair, my brain turned into full soup mode whilst it was processing playing guitar, singing, breathing and everything else!
‘Then there was this monumental moment of realisation.’
At this point I was overcome with literal delirious excitement and exclaimed, “Huge shout out to my good friend Nikki over there busting a move!! Wooo!”.
She looked around her casually as if searching for the receiver of the shout out, even though I was looking point blank at her! It was quite loud in the Tipi tent with everyone singing along, so I thought maybe she didn't hear me!
"Yes NIKKI! I’m shouting out to you, thank you so much for coming over!”, I repeated with such confidence and warmth. I couldn't understand why she slowed a little with her enthusiasm of dancing, looking rather confused as people in the crowd started to clap and cheer for her!
Then there was this monumental moment of realisation. It was if a tidal wave of fermented horse manure had crashed down on top of me, burying me into the deepest, darkest hole ever! I gasped!
Her name was not Nikki!!!
There was an excruciating pause for what felt like an eternity but must have only lasted for a couple of seconds. My mind was racing with thoughts, 'How on earth can I rectify the situation?!', 'What must she think?!', 'What must everyone else be thinking?!'
The time had come to own it. I cleared my throat and projected, “ZOE! Shout out to ZOE! Everyone give ZOE a round of applause for taking care of all the acts on the main stage! Wooo! Go ZOEEE!!!”, to which the crowd erupted into cheering mixed with laughter and clapped away!
‘Bring on the next hilarious cascade of embarrassment!’
I have never wanted the ground to swallow me up so much in all my life! This name mishap hadn't happened to me so publicly before and I should imagine had never happened to Zoe!
The last time something like this even remotely happened was last year in the safety of the garden! Chevy and I were painting the fences and I shouted over to our next door neighbour, "Hi Graham, how's it going?", to which there was no reply! I repeated again louder, "Graham?! GRAHAM!!". Turns out his name was Shaun! Kind of reminds me of that T.V advert of the talking Marmot shouting, "Alan! Alan! Alan!.....Steve! Steve! STEVE!", my spirit animal perhaps?
Anyway, back to the Tipi tent at 'Music On the Green'! It's 32 degrees, I've just shouted out the wrong name down the mic in front of EVERYONE and now they are all clapping/cheering for a second time for Zoe! I styled it out as best I could and carried on with the song accompanied by a bright red glow on my face that complimented the copious amounts sweat falling from it! When I looked back up Zoe had disappeared!
We had to shoot off straight after the gig as I had another one booked that day, but of course I sent Zoe a message consisting of an apology, sheer panic and light hearted grovelling! She was absolutely fine (thank God!) and now has a pure comedy gold story to bust out of the memory bank wherever she see’s fit! In fact in her reply to me she said, “That was hilarious MARY! Me and Nikki had a real good laugh about it tonight!” - I have a feeling I'm never going to live this one down! Haha!
Bring on the next hilarious cascade of embarrassment! I’ll be sure to keep you all posted!
Till then, remember to Live, Laugh, Love and never take yourself too seriously! Mistakes in life are guaranteed to happen, it's how you pick yourself back up and style them out that counts!
Jayne Snow: Performing at Music On The Green. //Photo credit: Fred Clark
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